


A broken heart is all that's left

by Erine_24



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crying, Family, Friendship, Love, M/M, Pain, Sad Ending, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 00:56:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21467404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erine_24/pseuds/Erine_24
Summary: Since they had defeated God, every day had become a beautiful routine, in a perfect new life.But, however, this evening was different.A sound, a dark shade, sad looks and cries...After all, a happy life was maybe impossible for them.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Jack Kline/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	A broken heart is all that's left

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the reading! ;)

The sound of the beers on the table appeared, hidden by laughs and exclamations. Dean had just come, a pack of these alcoholic drinks in hands, announcing the next round. They were here, Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack, the four of them, happy and together. A family. A real family, united by an indestructible bond. By an indestructible strength. Because together, they had defeated all the bad. Forever. They had won this battle, together. They had written their own story, their own destiny. At least, until now.

  
And they had stayed together all the way till the end. They knew they had to stick together to win, not separate, stay united, not lose themselves… Because after all the bad, all that tore them apart: doubt, fear, evil, death… Perhaps they were their weak spot, but together, they were stronger. A family. Invincible. Forever fighting for what's good. And now, they were happy. For the first time. No reason to worry, being afraid, being suspicious. They were finally free.

  
So, by this little evening, they were standing there, in the bunker, their home, while they felt no pressure, no bad. Two months had passed since they had defeated God, and the same way, erased every creature on earth, forever. That had left them the time to slowly settle into this new life, and let the happiness come to them.

  
Then, every day had become a beautiful routine. Maybe the joy was repeating too much, but it was there, and after all, it was all that mattered, in this perfect new life.  
But, however, this evening was different. Because, in the middle of a long conversation, a big sound got heard. Their faces froze, the silence came out, while in their eyes, the suspicion was coming back. The fear of the danger. This feeling yet forgotten came back. After all, a life without distrust was maybe impossible for them.

  
Then appeared a big, dark shade, like a human shade, without being one. And while Sam and Dean’s face were full of incomprehension, Castiel’s face was decomposing, paling. The reality suddenly came back to him. He knew what was happening. He had tried to forget it, forget this deal, this promise. He had thought that he could avoid it, get through it, because he thought he would never be this happy… But these weeks, with only them, a family… He finally gave himself the right to be happy. As they all did.

  
So he looked at Sam and Dean, with a sorry, broken face. And these ones were suddenly taken by fear, while Jack and Castiel were sharing a sad look. They both knew what was going on. The Empty had kept its promise. It was coming for the angel the moment he was giving himself the feeling of being truly happy. And now, he couldn’t run away anymore. It was over.

  
So Castiel went back, trying to save time, turning himself toward his family. 

  
“Who the hell are you? What are you?” Dean was staring at the creature, while his hand was looking for an object, a weapon, whatever, that he could wear. But he didn’t find anything. Sam had insisted so much to leave all the past, to leave all the fear… And now, they couldn’t do anything against that thing. Then, his hopeless look turned to the angel. Because he was seeing it in his broken eyes. He knew that Castiel knew something. “Cas who is it?”

  
Then, a mocking laugh got heard, while the dark shade was finally doing something, to finally speak, after these few seconds of silence, observing them, proud of what he was causing. “It is time Castiel... We had a deal”

  
The angel lowed his head, broken. He knew he had to leave, and he knew that the Empty would not give him the time for farewells. He would have to leave them, surrender. And for the first time ever, he felt his heart breaking up. He felt the break, then the fall. He was feeling everything. Strange feeling for him, but a pain so loud, so intense… Stronger than it ever was. He was feeling so human, feeling such a thing… But he couldn’t fix it. His whole body was burning.

  
And for the first time, he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to die. Because all these times, all the times he died, or was close to dying… He wasn’t running away from it, he wasn’t refusing it, but he was walking to it. Because, somewhere, even after all these years, he was still blaming himself, so much, for all he had done. All the bad he had caused. All these betrayals, this guilt… But this time, he had finally forgiven himself. Because with Dean, Sam and Jack, he felt like home. Safe. Good. And for the first time, he wanted to stay alive. He didn’t want to leave, to leave them.

  
Because after all the time he lived... His time with the Winchesters may be nothing compared to it, but for the first time, he felt like he belonged to something. Like he was something. For the first time, his life made sense. For the moment he put a hand on Dean to raise him from perdition, his life had changed. For the best way. He may have made mistakes, thousands of mistakes... But thanks to Sam and Dean, he could think by himself. He could be someone. And being someone, existing, mattering... was something that made his life special. That made him special. And happy.

  
Happiness. 

  
Before them, he didn't even know that word. And now, it was the thing that was describing him.

  
And he wanted to stay. So bad. But he didn’t have a choice anymore. There was no way to go back, no way to fix it, to erase the deal.

  
"Cas what is it what- What is it talking about!?”

  
Dean was freaking out, his eyes full of incomprehension, emotions... He was worried. So worried. Being in front of this fear after all this time... was a knife stabbing his heart. Again, and again. Because, even if he finally left the happiness own his heart... he was still on the lookout, like somehow, inside of him, there was still this fear, the fear of losing someone you love. And he tried so hard to push it away, to forget it... but it was coming back to him the hardest way.

  
"Cas answer me!!! ”The tears appeared in his eyes, while the angel's silence was telling him everything. And he started to tremble, repeating again and again...: "No...”

  
He was starting to understand, even if he didn't want to. He was just staring at Castiel, and Castiel was just staring at him. Their eyes were on each other's and they were just standing here. And his heart slowly fell into the blackout, because he knew now, while Cas was looking at the mysterious shape, and that he was lowing down his eyes. He knew what it was. After 12 years… He knew the angel. He knew the meaning. Cas was leaving. He was leaving them. But why? And why now?

  
And the angel was starting to move, his body turning toward the dark shade, that had opened his arms, ready to take him. Sam and Dean still had no idea who the hell was this thing. But they knew it wanted Castiel. And they knew it wouldn’t go.

  
"Cas...” Sam was realizing too. He still didn't understand what was happening and who was it, but... he knew. Because, the eyes were talking for them, and sometimes, the silence was too. So he just knew what was gonna happen. He knew that it was a goodbye. But he couldn't accept it. No. Not that. Not now... Not ever… After all they’d been through, he thought they would be free… And he was staying in silence, watching his brother fall apart. Because he knew, he knew him well to see how much his heart was bleeding. Because he knew his feelings. He knew both of their feelings for each other.

  
“This… This is my fault…”

  
While Castiel was starting to move forward to the shade, they all turned to Jack, who was suddenly out of the silence, his eyes raised to stare at them, when he was realizing everything. All the guilt came back with the pain. It was his fault. He remembered, when he was in heaven, the deal Castiel made... it was to save him. Again, it was all because of him. And he let down a tear while begging to forgiveness in silence, just looking at them, hating himself. Because his dad would die, Dean and Sam’s family would die… All of it because of him.

  
“What, what do you mean this is your fault? Jack.”

  
“It’s not!!! Jack, it’s not. Believe me. It’s just… I’m sorry you know I have to-” Castiel’s voice was trembling and he couldn’t even end his sentence. He closed his eyes for a second while the dark shade named the Empty was laughing. For it, it was just a pleasure to see that. It finally had what it was waiting for so long. And seeing them all sad, with all those stupid emotions… was kind of funny for him. “I… Thank you. Thank you for everything. My family…”

  
He was staring at them. Jack, Sam, Dean… He loved them. More than anyone, more than anything.

  
And Jack was lowing his head, not convinced, still blaming himself on the inside. And Sam and Dean, who still didn’t understand, were looking at each other before the older closed his eyes. He just couldn’t handle those emotions. Those feelings. And by seeing that… Cas didn’t too.

  
Because now, he was realizing something. All of it… All of it, all his happiness… was thank of Dean. Dean. He made him break the laws, go out of the angel's control... he made him free. He made him live all that beautiful 12 years… It was thanks to him that he had a son. A family. Because from the moment Castiel had saved Dean, Dean had saved Castiel too. They saved each other. And they did it so many times he couldn’t even count. And they would do it all over again and forever. Because they were family.

  
And family do care about each other. Family is there. For the bad, good, all of it. They got your back. Even when it hurts. Because they may had bad times, times were nothing was right, where they were so hurt, so empty of answers, or full of rage... that they didn't see the family anymore. And they may broke sometimes... they were still family. And they would always love and care about each other. Because that's family too.

  
And the former hunter was still trembling, and Cas could see his eyes breaking. He was falling apart. In his head, it couldn’t be true, it couldn’t…

  
“Cas no, no what are you doing you… you can’t… you can’t…” Dean’s eyes were losing control, his body too, while a tear finally came out, running above his cheek.

  
He and the angel were staring at each other again, but Castiel broke it. He couldn’t face him. Not anymore. Not seeing him like that.

  
Because… After all this time, he had figured out something. Something stronger than a family bond. Stronger than anything. Something special. Unusual. At first, he just thought it was nothing. That, because of the way his powers were failing, or when they weren't there at all... he was feeling something above all else. And his heart felt so many things... but he didn't understand them. Because it was something human. Something terribly human. And for the first time, it was something out of his control. For the first time, he was lost in the way he felt.

  
And, he may begin to have questions for months… He was only realizing now. Because he was losing him, he realized. Because after all this time he had watched over Dean… All this time, since the hunter was born. From the beginning, it was him. It had always been him. And these feelings… Were just for him. All this past, all those memories… were him.

  
Dean Winchester.

  
But, he would have to leave him… To lose him… It was funny, right? Realizing your feelings for someone the moment you’re about to lose them. Funny, the way his heart was in million pieces. The way he was feeling so human. So… broken. Because damn it hurt.

  
But, the Empty was here for a minute now, and it was time for him. It was time to break the last pieces of his heart. And also… The last pieces of Dean’s heart. And to turn them into ashes.  
Because now, it was too late for Castiel, too late for Dean. Too late for their feelings. Too late for them. They would never have the time to express them, to express those emotions, that were so strong for the both of them. It was too late.

  
Then, lowing his head, tears coming out of his eyes, the anger began to, slowly, but with all the regrets and a heavy heart, under Dean’s trembling look, walk to the Empty, who still had his arms opened to him, ready to take him.

  
So the older Winchester was starting to understand who was this dark shade, and where Castiel was going. So, that was true. He was going to leave them. Forever. He was going to… No, Dean couldn’t, he couldn’t even think about it. It couldn’t be true…

  
His heart was falling into a black abyss, when his feelings, that he had passed so much time trying to forget, were here again, more powerful than ever, as they never left, as they never will. Actually, it hurt so much. This love for him… Was consuming him. Breaking him. And for now, he had been unable to move, too afraid, too chocked, too hurt. But, when the reality hit him, his body was sort of unlocked. Like he had to do something. Because he couldn’t let him go. He couldn’t.

  
“Cas!!!” The angel didn’t even look at him. He knew that Dean was the only one who could stop it, convince him, or worse… sacrificing himself for him. But he couldn’t let that happen. But… Dean, on the other side, couldn’t let him go too. But Castiel was already against the Empty, while the shade was closing around him, surrounding him.

  
“No!!!!”

  
“I’m sorry…”

  
Dean was starting to run, reuniting all the strength he ever had, while the angel had turned his head for the last time, for the last look, for the last breath. Dean was screaming, struggling, but Sam was holding him back. The younger brother may had his heart gone, stabbed by what was happening, he couldn’t let his brother go. He knew his pain, oh damn he knew… But he had to take him away from losing himself.  
But, Dean’s hopeless screams suddenly stopped. The dark shade had practically surrounded all Castiel’s body, but, when the hunter had thought it was over, the angel’s look went right through his eyes. For a second, a last second, their heart was beating together, when Castiel whispered, so weakly but with so much strength for Dean.

  
“I love you…”

  
And it hit Dean so bad, when the words came into his heart, when he heard them. When he heard the silence after the dark shade disappeared. After the one he loves… disappeared…  
And then, it was all just silence.

  
A silence where Dean had fallen into his brother’s arms, his mind, his body, heart and all of him trying to put together the things that just happened. His eyes were looking for something to see, and his heart for something to hold on to.

  
Because the person he loved, the only one in his heart… Was gone.

  
Then, the silence was broken by sobs. Dean’s sobs. He was crying so loud. His body was trembling, he had so many tears, so many hiccups, so much pain…  
Castiel’s worlds had been said with so much sincerity… and like it was an evidence. Like they were an evidence.  
Castiel loved Dean… He loved… He was gone… He loved him and he was gone…

  
Then, Jack and Sam, who were crying, so hurt, still trying to realize what just happened… Came to hold Dean together. The Nephilim just lost his dad, the one who had always been there for him… And younger Winchester… he had lost a brother. A best friend. And Dean… he had lost his everything. His love. His angel. His heart… How was he supposed to live after that? How was he supposed to live without him? He couldn’t. But, Sam and Jack were here for him. They were still family. They would always be.

  
But Dean just couldn’t stop himself from sobbing, and realized… Something hit him. So bad. All his body hurt. And while Sam and Jack were holding him, he was whispering, realizing, crying…

  
“I will never have the chance to say it back”

**"We saved the world**

**But darling there was no spark left for us**

> **We won the battle but lost the heart"**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> See you soon <3


End file.
